nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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