we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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