Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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