just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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