Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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