it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
