oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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