with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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