She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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