if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
