is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
