She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
