I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize