Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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