i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
