new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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