There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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