Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I feel like death gave me a hand job
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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