Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
