Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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