I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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