Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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