My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
