is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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