Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
