But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
