At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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