i just wanna soil my oats bro
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
