So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Sober January is a disaster.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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