should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
We need to get me chipped asap
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
