Screwed.edu
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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