if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
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Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
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I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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