I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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