Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
