Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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