I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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