I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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