i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
