so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
