I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
