and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
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