it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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