even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
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