Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
