How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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