Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
