yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
