Can i not drive my cunt home
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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