Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
