She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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