This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I touched a dick in church today
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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