Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
