these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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