So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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